Busy already?

I'm not even back at work and I'm already busy. There are certain thing I'd like to do every day, yet even on days like this when I don't have the distraction of work I still can't seem to find time. Do I have unrealistic expectations about what can and should be accommplished in one day? Do I have to give myself a limit to my daily to do list? I suppose that is a reasonable idea. There are few things that NEED to be done today or tomorrow, but should I always be putting things off for tomorrow?

Jack Layton died yesterday. A man who had done so much for our country and still had so much more he wanted to do. I wonder if on hos deathbed he or his wife thought he should have spent more time working, or he should have fixed the leaking pipe or redid the kitchen floor. I can't imagine that when life is set to end that any of the things I rush to finish are even considered. In fact, I would regret having spent so much time on these silly things. 

In some ways spending time getting the to do list finished helps make life easier from day to day, but if time is never made for making the day to day fun and enjoyable then what is the point?

So what are the things I need to give my time to every day and what can wait? I suppose it is family, friends, my interests. Work needs a certain amount of time, since it is something you will be doing for many years and finding ways to make it easier and more fun will be a huge benefit in the long run. I need to take care of myself mentally, physically and emotionally. That is a definite! I must find things that I enjoy.

I've spent the last 24 years in a school ever day. I've always taken classes and had studying to do. Do I actually enjoy it or do I do it because it is what I know, it makes me feel productive and I am good at it? I really don't know the answer. How would I feel if I wasn't teaching or taking a course? What else would I do? Perhaps that is an interesting thing to try to determine this year. What do I enjoy? What do I WANT to do?

Huge questions.
Now for the answers.

Becca beats the lawn mower

She won! For the past few days I've spent most of the day outside in the yard with Becca. Despite a shorter walk, she's been doing great. She's stopped trying to attack the lawn mower and weed whacker. She met another dog through the fence and was pretty decent about it. Only one short bark attack and a quick pee, but otherwise OK.

TODAY WAS GREAT! The neighbour offered up her pool and mom and I actually used it. Havn't seen mom in water for years. It was nice. I think I'd never need to go to a resort if we had a pool. With a blender I'd have eveything I'd need for a swim up bar. I think we should buy the house.

My big debate for this year is get a second job or work on finding happiness. Happy is good, so is money. I'm lost.

Goal for tomorrow- read, relax, get Becca into her new puppy pool. ENJOY!

Getting back on track

So I've been home from the boat for a week now and I'm finally feeling like I'm getting back on track. I had considered doing fun things like going to the beach or hiking up north, but then I thought about the things that make my life harder when I go back to work. I realized that life isn't more stressful when I'm working because I didn't go to a beach in the summer, it's stressful because my daily life is difficult. Why are daily activities so difficult I asked? Well I figured we just haven't gotten things organized. Our items do not have homes and that is a challenge, because you are constantly searching for things, constantly moving items around to get to others, constantly struggling to be only slightly behind instead of completely behind in everything you do. So, I'm going to spend the rest of my time off doing things that will make living from day to day in this house a little easier. We've finally gotten everything unpacked, now it's time to organize.

I started an inside tool box today.
I organized the basement, so that items for use are in the back (paint, tiles, etc.), our belongings are in the bedroom (camping goods, packed clothing, etc) and large items for general storage or garbage are in the rec room.  Done!
Since the dryer doesn't work I moved it out of the way so that getting in and out of the basement is easier.
I started a clothing line in the back so I can now dry more than 1 load of laundry at a time. This now means I can do more than one load a day!! HUGE improvement.
Finally, mom and I began cutting and bundling the branches that were trimmed off the trees in May and never made it to the state where they could be removed. Mat and his dad were awesome with cutting things down, but again they just piled things up and walked away saying a wood chipper would be rented. When?? We've probably got an entire front yards worth to be picked up and that's not even half of what needs to be done.

Becca barked and lunged at one man today, but he was running toward us to catch the bus, so I don't really blame her.  Other than that we were in the back yard all day and she finally got comfortable. Her barking was done a lot from yesterday. She looked to me a lot more for assurance of what she was to do. She also finally laid down on her side and slept. She does this inside, but she rarely does it outside. She's always on patrol...alert and ready to go, which is exhausting for both of us. Today...she let go and it was great. I actually saw happiness in her. Wonderful!!

I have 21 days until school starts. I feel like once the wood is taken care of in the back I can focus on preping for the first week.  I still have to determine the course outline for all of my courses. I should at least know what I'm going to teach and when.  I'll give myself ten hours for each course and that's all.  That needs to result in an understanding of the units I will teach, at least some of the major assignments, and everything that will be completed during the first week, including the creation of all handouts.  I've hit a point where I do not want to go above and beyond anymore. I just want to do enough to be good at what I do. I don't need to be great if it means giving all of my time and energy to teaching. I've realized that in the end it makes me tired, jaded, bitter and just unpleasant, which is never good for anyone.  I would like to give myself one day per week where I will stay late afterschool. I'm hoping that will be the only day that I have to work after 3:30pm. I would like to get to school at 8:00 and leave at 4:00. This is 8 hours. With 1 hour for lunch and 4 hours of teaching that is only 5 hours, which somehow gives me three hours for working. Where it goes I have no idea, but apparently that is how it is. This year I will keep a log of how my time in spent, so I can see exactly how it is used each day.  I need to start factoring in time for me!

Well, now is the time for me. I'm going to eat some delicious popcorn, watch a little Combat Hospital and crawl into bed with Cesar Millan.

Tomorrow I attack the back! Trees -- you're going down!

another day

Is life this hard for everyone or am I the special one?

Well the day started with a trip to the dealership for an oil change. Considering the new surroundings, increased traffic and high energy level of the morning Becca was pretty good. I haven't had her off leash and I can see an increase in her energy level. She's much more agitated and easy to snap. She's doing a lot of barking at people and some lunging, though her barks are usually not of the threatening kind, but other people don't know that. I'm troubled by her movement in the moment - it's not a positive thing.  I know it'll take some time to get back in the swing of things. She's probably not completely comfortable or adjusted to being here yet. She'll come along.

I then had an appointment with an allergist. He was the first to mention that mould can have adverse health effects. He also ordered a test for asthma and a general one for my immune system. I hope this mystery is solved soon.

I spent most of the day trying to get the outside of the house looking suitable. The week whacker jammed and I took to hand pulling the weeds from between the slabs on the driveway. Found a dead mouse in the place of a missing brick in the retaining wall and sadly, just left it there. I don't know what to do with it and it seemed like a circle of life situation as the flies had found joy.  Becca was very calm tied up in front with me after having jumped the side fence twice. Surprisingly the first time since we put it up. I screwed up when the neighbours came to visit. A young girl came to visit with her little nephew. She's about 13 and the boy is about 2. I didn't want him running toward Becca since I wasn't sure of her behaviour, so I asked her to walk slowly and talk to Becca. They've met several times, but the girl started to hunch over and my bully dog saw it was a sign of weakness and lunged. Her snout actually made contact through the girl claimed she did not bite her. I felt so stupid. Becca jumped again later at night at two women out for a walk. Perhaps I'm responsible for this as well, since I saw her react to their presence and I had the thought that she might jump. I couldn't shake the thought and she probably felt it...then she did it! I have to find something to say in my head to centre me and calm me and make me the assertive leader she needs. She's definitely a dominant dog. She is aggressive, but it's fear based. Regardless of the cause it's not great. She was clearly mistreated in her past house. Unlike most dogs she will lay down and sleep in her own pee - I can only imagine this is because she never learned not to, perhaps was even forced to live that way. I do love her. I bought her a dress and put a tiara on her - cutest picture ever!!!

Tomorrow is the big 10 year old birthday party. Being 28 sucks, but being 10 sounds like a better birthday party. People are being very responsive and have tons of ideas for games. I'm looking forward to the ice cream sundae bar.

I haven't done a great job at finding balance. I've been very busy and I'm not liking it. I think I'd like to go camping with Becca next week, but I'm nervous of her reactions. I also haven't gotten her to the vet for her heart worm meds, so I guess it's a horrible idea. Perhaps just really great day hikes in the woods.

Goal for tomorrow:

get the party prepping done EARLY! Take a really long walk with becca and tire her out. and RELAX!

Battle of the Backyard Part 2

Finally found the hexkey. Can now put the chainsaw on a stick back together. Watched enough youtube videos that I feel confident in using a real chainsaw to cut some logs. Mostly, I just want to get the weedwhacking under control. Then I need to set my sights to the inside....yuck.

Took the truck in for an oil change and took Becca for a walk while I was there. A lot of traffic, some people, two very calm dogs and a large amount of men. She was tired from all of her barking. Freaked on the dogs, but they couldn't have cared less about her.  She barked up a storm outside the service centre and then decided to start barking after 5 minutes inside. Strange thing is, she was quite (not calm, but quiet) then barked, then was really exicted to sniff everyone. Maybe just a warning that she was there and people should know it? Certainly not a fighting bark.

She did have an urge to rumble with a few muslim women and a sikh man.  Is my dog a racist?

Right....battle of the backyard.
Ready...set...GO!

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Reality Bites!!!

It is Thursday and I arrived at the bus station at 6:30 am on Tuesday morning. That means I had all day Tuesday and Wednesday to get my life back on track.  I'm not even sure I know where the track is.

So let's see....in 2 days I've managed to shop for food and home necessities. It took me two days to get the lawn mowed.  I needed to whack some weeds, but then I had to go to the store and figure out how to replace the trimmer line. Then I had to actually figure out how to replace the trimmer line. Got it done eventually, but still haven't finished the whacking job because I realized that the yard is too far gone. I called in re-enforcements. The CHAINSAW ON A STICK!! Well, the job was too much even for that. The chain popped off and I figured out how to put it on again. Then it came loose and I realized that the hexkey that I need cannot be found. Of courses it's probably somewhere in the mess that is the garage.  Now I have to go and put together the gas chainsaw. Good luck. I'm also still waiting till dusk to try to kill the mass of hornets that have made a home under the front stairs. The dog still can't figure out what to do with herself and did I mention I probably ruined my brandnew Samsung Galaxy tablet trying to protect it. It's the ultimate in irony. I purchased one of those protection sheets and spent many frustrating hours trying to get it on properly. I probably used a little too much vinegar to help me out, since the screen is completely unresponsive today. I've soaked it in kitty litter (thankfully still in my truck awaiting delivery to my mom- procrastination came in handy with this).  Happy to say I was able to unlock it, but I was still unable to turn it off, making me think there is hope. It's probably still wet inside. If this thing comes through it's going to be one of the only pieces of good luck I've had in a while. It needs to pull through.

Interestingly, I'm taking it as a way to stop being busy. Isn't that the reason I started this blog- to find ways to stop with the meaningless busy and find meaning? I haven't been distracted by the fun of the tablet and as much as I hate to admit it, writing this blog is a lot faster when you get to work on a human sized keyboard.

Well....off to figure out how to put a gas chainsaw together.  Owning a house is so much work...but mostly, it's just a lot of learning when you've never lived in one before. I've learned so much in the past few days alone.

The year of the dog.

It seems as though this year may need to be focused on learning everything I can about dogs. Becca is great, but the three weeks away made her less of a follower and now I'm struggling to get her to be even half as submissive as she was when I left. She runs on her leash knstead of walking beside me as she used to. She's very aggressive with other dogs and small children. She's barking more. I've got a party on Saturday and it could be a disaster for her. Now to the library to begin my search.